I was watching the british documentary/tv-show Don’t tell the bride earlier tonight. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s about grooms who chose every detail of the wedding (even the wedding-dress) and brides kept in the dark (they’re not allowed to talk about it). Tonights bride didn’t handle not knowing very well, and she hated the dress when she tried it the day before the wedding (and ended up changing it). It made me wonder how I would handle it. One part of me says I would be fine with it. Tony and I have mostly the same taste, and we’ve talked so much about it that I think he knows how I picture things to be. The neurotic part of me would probably freak out though, I’ve never been good at letting go of control :P If he’d gotten it all wrong.. again I’m torn – a part of me wouldn’t care, ’cause I would only care about us getting married. Another part of me would probably be thinking “I thought he knew me better then that” :P
It would be wonderful to not lift a finger though ;) And just to have a wedding, we’re still saving for it.
I don’t care about the wedding, I just want to be married to the love of my life <3 :)
It doesn’t seem like I’m very desirable in the current job-market, so I’ve been looking a lot on web-based education lately. Amongst the possibilities I’ve discovered, is a bachelor-degree in administration and management (3 years) and college-degree in accounting and salary (2 years). I’m not completely sure that’s the way to go for me, but it is at least building-stones to the education and work-experience I already have. And, since I have a certificate of apprenticeship in that area, I might even be spared of some of the subjects. I just don’t know how to afford it, or how to find the time. Tony works so much that I don’t have a lot of “me-time”, and I’m not sure I want to spend the little time I have on anything else but what I want (although it is something I want, but you get the picture).
So.. yeah, that’s what I’m currently thinking about. A lot. Not sure what to do!
Yesterday it was time for our third baby-swimming session. They don’t recommend wearing swim-diapers, just a tight swim-pants, so that’s what Adrian wears. And being the little devil that he is, he peed all over me before we got to the pool. For some reason I’d packed both of the swim-pants I’ve bought for him, so we cleaned him up and changed his pants. I guess I didn’t need to do that, but I was a bit embarrassed and felt I had to :P
Adrian seems to be really enjoying himself in the water, and he seems to be much more secure then most of the other kids. And I guess his favorite part yesterday was when all the babies were placed on a big floating-mat and he got to grab baby Sunnivas ass.. again and again :P My boy’s so much like his daddy ;)
It looks like Tonys mother will visit us next week, and I’m kinda hoping she can come with us and take pictures! I did that for a friend of mine when she attended baby-swimming, and there’s been family on the side of the pool the previous two times taking pictures. It would be fun to have :)
It struck me the other day that I always look exactly the same when I go out: black print-less singlet or t-shirt, semi-baggy jeans and my hair in a braid (wet and tight in the morning, dry and fluffy in the afternoon). I actually own about 10 black print-less singlets and t-shirts, several of them are the same type as well. And I don’t accessorize much either, so.. I guess no one that see me on a regular basis wonder what I’ll be wearing when they see me next!
I used to have a bit more variety in my clothes, but I’ve put on to much weight and grown out of them. These days I don’t have the money to shop, and I never find anything I like when I try to look for something either (todays fashions sucks).
So me. Boring. Le sigh.
There’s a food-festival in town this weekend, and Anette from my maternity-group sent a text the other day wondering if I wanted to go check it out yesterday. Of course I did, and so did Stine G. We met up at Anettes house and walked the 30 minutes from there to the center of the city. It was pretty crowded and not easy getting three strollers around, but it was fun to see everything and I had a really nice time with the girls :)
Yesterday I almost missed out on meeting my maternity-group. I was so sure it was Tuesday, but I was so wrong – and it was two minutes from the time I figured it out ’til the time we were supposed to meet. Safe to say I got stressed, but I managed to only be 15 minutes late. Go me!
This time we met at Stine B’s house. Anette and Natalie couldn’t be there, but the other eight of us were. Stine B had made taco-baguettes and nachos and it was goooood. I love taco and I love nachos *lick lips*
Stine B with Lina, Sofia, Stine G with Hanna and Sebastian
on the floor (Adrian is hiding under the table)
We stayed inside since the rain was pooring outside. It made it really cozy though, especially since Stine B had lit candles and everything! It was also very fun to see the kidlets playing more with eachother then they have before – it’s fun to see how they grow :)
The next time we’ll meet, we’ll be here, at my house. I hope I don’t mix the days then :P I’m dreading it a bit, since the others have such adorable homes and I feel that ours is kinda empty. And I have no clue on what to serve. It’s good that I’ll have two weeks to figure it out! :)
Yesterday it was time for our second session of baby-swimming. This time Tony couldn’t come (he was at work), so I was really nervous before I left ’cause I didn’t want to do it alone. I took the stroller with me though, and it turned out to be the perfect solution! He layed in it while I changed and while I showered, and I had it covered with a towel so that I could put him straight in there after I showered him.
As far as the session itself, I felt it went a lot better then the first time. He was very eager and splashing around for the first few minutes, but then he calmed down and made it possible for me to do the things we were actually supposed to do. He was very attentive to the other babies though, and usually stared more at them then at me.
I also got to talking to a few of the other girls before and under the session, which was really nice. It just made the entire thing a lot more enjoyable.
I’m looking forward to our next session :)
I’m considering to stop breast-feeding Adrian. Not because I have to, but because I’m not sure I want to anymore. I seriously can’t make up my mind though.
The positive thing about breast-feeding is the fact that there’s no better nutrition for Adrian then my milk. It’s also always “at hand”, and there’s no bottles that needs to be sterilized or anything. It’s pretty simple.
I am however growing more and more tired of feeding him every three hours. I’ve done it day in and day out for almost six months now, and it’s driving me nuts at times. It’s just the fact that I have to be available every three hours, and if I’m not, it’s painful for me (after a while, it feels like my breasts are about to explode). If I skip several meals, I have to pump my breasts and that’s boring and not close to as effective as Adrian doing it. Another thing is that Adrian tends to twist, turn and kick his feet while he gets breast-fed, making it both annoying and exhausting to try and keep him still. When he gets a bottle, he’s perfectly still.
So I’m going back and forth, back and forth, day in and day out. At one moment I’ve decided to stop, the next I want to keep at it. It feels wrong to stop when I still can (there’s so many that’s wants to that can’t), and I would feel better about stopping if it wasn’t for all selfish reasons.
I don’t know.. *scratch head*
The other day Tony and I found out that one of our closest neighbours is a transvestite. I didn’t really believe it until we learned his female name and googled him – there is no question that it was indeed our neighbour, with a wig, full-out female clothes and everything. He’s been interviewed by both a national and a local newspaper, and he is – according to the articles – trying to create more understanding towards transvestites and is therefor pretty open about it.
I’m not really sure how to describe my first reaction, I guess I thought it was really weird. Now that I’ve thought about it though, I don’t think any differently about him. He – like the rest of us – has his thing, and I have no right to judge him. I’m pretty sure there are things or habits with me that others find weird.
It’s funny to think about what we don’t know about the people around us, that we’re pretty clueless on what goes on behind closed doors. As it should be – we should all be allowed our own dirty little secrets, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.
This morning I went on the scale and saw a number I haven’t seen in my twenties: 75,8 kg. It’s still at least 10 kg more then I should weigh, but it’s 8 kg less then before I got pregnant and as I said: my lowest weight so far in my twenties.
I’m not completely sure when I started to gain a lot of weight, but judging from the pictures I have, I think it started in 2004. I didn’t notice what was happening to my body until I had gained 20 kg, and I’ve struggled with that weight since. I wish someone would have told me that I was putting on weight, but I completely understand that no one did. Who wants to be that guy? ;) I don’t doubt it would have been hard to hear, but it would have been a lot easier to deal with 10 kg instead of 20 kg! I’ve told Tony that he better make sure to tell me if it happens again, even if he thinks it makes me sad.
I would never have thought that a pregnancy would be the thing that kicked me in the right direction again. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I weighed 83 kg. I lost 3 kg in the beginning, but my doctor thought I would probably reach 100 kg before Adrian was born. I didn’t though, and if I don’t remember it wrong, I weighed 91 kg on my last check-up before giving birth. Through the last two months I hardly gained any weight at all. When I got home from the hospital, I was down to 84 kg, and I’ve gradually lost weight since then – even if my daily diet has consisted of mostly biscuits and Pepsi Max (but at least I’ve eaten proper dinners almost every single day).
Now I’m trying to change my eating-habits, ’cause I know I’m playing with fire. Breast-feeding increases your metabolism, and I know that as soon as I stop doing that, my metabolism will decrease again. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to gain the weight I’ve lost again in a matter of weeks if I don’t get my act together.
I used to obsess about my weight, but now I don’t care as much. I think I’m done with the crash-diets for the rest of my life, and will instead keep to healthy food, smaller portions, less snacking and more exercise.
August 31st, 2010
